![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.sailpandora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/DAN-1024x6821.jpg\" "\\"DAN-1024x682\\"")
<\/a>And his boat Halcyon, his Hallberg Rassy 49.\u00a0![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.sailpandora.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/DanAlonso6-620x350.png\" "\\"DanAlonso6-620x350\\"")
<\/a>So, I have reprinted Dan’s words and photos as published in the online publication, <\/span>Scuttlebutt Sailing News<\/a>. \u00a0Dan told me that he wrote these words for his wife Kathy so he could help her better understand what happened and how he felt. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\nHere, in Dan’s words… \u00a0The race was off.\u00a0Day one the winds were enough to get Halcyon moving. The second day it shut down. Doldrums. Fortunately, it didn\u2019t last. When the wind returned, it would change direction and make this a reaching race.<\/span><\/p>\n The router shows the wind will be around 18 knots out of the south for days. I\u2019m hoping it\u2019s enough but more would be better. I need it big enough to shut down the other boats, Halcyon can take it. Heading to the entry point in the Gulf Stream, the wind continues to build. Halcyon is starting to go.<\/p>\n Out in front of me are two boats, Bent (S2 9.1) and Kontradiction (C&C 110). Bent is in my class. They are far away but good targets. The wind is getting strong. I am nearly at full sail, just a small reef in the main. I can feel Halcyon pushing forward. The water is now a steady sound, a crushing wave being pushed off Halcyon\u2019s bow. It is \u201cgo\u201d time, and Halcyon is a raging bull just driving through the building sea. After a few years of trying to race this \u201cnorth sea\u201d cruiser and getting killed in light air, we finally have the race conditions Halcyon thrives in; big winds and nasty sea state.<\/p>\n Since entering the stream, Halcyon has not dropping below 11 knots over the bottom and often in the 12s. We had spent over $5,000 getting the auto pilot repaired just days before the race, but I\u2019m now listening to the motor over working and I\u2019m feeling sick. I\u2019ve just sailed from Charleston to Bermuda and then Bermuda to Newport solo with a constantly failing auto pilot \u2013 1,400 miles of offshore sailing without a pilot. I just can\u2019t bear the emotional stress of a failing pilot again.<\/p>\n Halcyon is no longer keeping her course. It\u2019s happening again, no pilot.<\/p>\n The backup plan for this summer of racing was to use the Hydrovane, \u201cHydi\u201d, a wind driven autopilot that we installed just before the Charleston to Bermuda race. At the start of that race, and just a few hours before entering into the Gulf Stream, Hydi broke off the stern. I was barely able to wrestle it back aboard.<\/p>\n Hydi is now reinstalled but completely untested. I\u2019m not sure if it\u2019s big enough to steer the boat or if the seas will tear it off the stern again. Fortunately in this whole mess, the wind is on the nose and likely to remain a close reach for the entire race. If both pilots fail, I take comfort knowing I can lock the wheel and at least balance the helm and get close enough to hand steer into Bermuda.<\/p>\n There\u2019s no stopping Halcyon. Pilot or not. She\u2019s crushing the ocean. I feel like I\u2019m standing on a freight train and we\u2019re reeling in Bent and Kontradiction fast. I finally pass them and start looking for more. Who\u2019s next? A day later, I\u2019m hearing VHF transmission. It\u2019s from boats in the first class. I thought they would be long gone. Am I doing that well? Maybe this could be my race. Neither pilot is able to steer the boat on their own so I\u2019m using them together. Hydi takes the load off and the autopilot steers the rest. My pilots are a team. It\u2019s working and if I can hold it for a few days, I\u2019ll finally have my race. I think, \u201cAssistance? What does that mean? \u201d We\u2019re 250 miles from Bermuda in the middle of the ocean. There is another boat on it\u2019s the way, but I\u2019m closer. The sun will set shortly. He wants to know if I can help. The other boat is at the back of his class. He can\u2019t win. Why stop my race? I\u2019m thinking why me? I can win, Halcyon\u2019s killing it. Why me? He\u2019s 17 miles away and I\u2019m 5. What\u2019s the big deal?<\/p>\n And then it takes a moment, but it settles in. Assistance! This guy is leaving his boat! You don\u2019t give assistance in this crap. It\u2019s blowing and the seas are big. It\u2019s freaking bad out here. This is an abandon ship. He needs to leave his boat. Something bad has happened and he\u2019s leaving his boat. My race is done. This guy needs help<\/p>\n I douse the genoa and put away the main. I hail Mike Schum from Kontradiction. He had a strong accent and sounded just like the guy asking for assistance. I was sure this assistance call was Mike. Kontradiction hails back saying he\u2019s fine. He doesn\u2019t know what I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n I was just talking to this guy. He told me he\u2019s losing his keel and needs help, he\u2019s abandoning ship. I quit the race and he\u2019s fine? What the f#ck? Am I losing my mind? Did I imagine that? What\u2019s going on here? I hail back to the distressed boat. He responds. The vessel\u2019s name is \u201cSolid Air\u201d, it\u2019s not Kontradiction. It\u2019s real and this was a glimpse of my potentially fragile emotional state. I actually thought I may have imagined it. No kidding, questioning my mind.<\/p>\n Solid Air communicates his lat\/lon. Just writing it down is a task. Every time I leave the helm to communicate or work the plotter, Halcyon breaches, leaning over a good 30-40 degrees. Without the pilot and in these seas, everything is crazy hard and now I\u2019m breaching every fifth wave. I finally create a waypoint and get going. He\u2019s downwind and it looks like it will take about 45 minute to get there. I\u2019ve got to hand steer. I\u2019m sailing with our small wheel and the steering is stiff, just turning the wheel is a workout. I\u2019ve got the auxiliary on and just the storm sail up. The seas are about 8-12 feet. I\u2019m running with the wind and seeing 30-35 mph.<\/p>\n Halcyon is surfing down each wave. It\u2019s hard to keep her straight. She wants to veer off. How the hell am I going to get his guy aboard? I know the life sling drill, but really? In this sh#t? After about 20 minutes I hail the skipper to work out our plan. He\u2019s thinking of putting out a few fenders. Right! I hail back, \u201cSkipper, you\u2019re going to get wet.\u201d<\/p>\n The tension is building. I know I\u2019ve got to get him but I\u2019ve got no pilot, can\u2019t steer the boat worth a crap and it\u2019s really really awful out. I\u2019m getting closer so I call to update his lat\/lon. He now gives me coordinates that are different. I\u2019m not talking drifting a half mile different. He\u2019s 8 miles upwind, where I just came from.<\/p>\n The sun\u2019s going down, 8 miles upwind an hour a half ride and you\u2019re where? What the f#ck? Where are you? Kontradiction is listening and also takes the lat\/lon. Mike, skipper of Kontradiction, is a comforting voice and another mind working on this feels good. I\u2019m terrified of wasting more time motoring to new positions where he is not. Dousing the storm jib, I realize it\u2019s windy, really windy. The sail lifts me off the deck with ease.<\/p>\n The drive upwind was nuts. The waves were now pushing 15 feet. The bow was launching into the sky. Things that had never fallen in the cabin after years of storm sailing were now flying about. With no canvas and a big sea state, Halcyon is pitch poling, badly, in all directions. Steering is far beyond difficult, nearly impossible.<\/p>\n I start thinking it was beyond me. I can\u2019t do it. After years of being proud as \u201cMr. Bad-Ass-Ocean-Storm-Sailor\u201d, I can\u2019t do this. I just can\u2019t do this. It\u2019s too much. What do I do? I still don\u2019t know where he is. What if this new location is also wrong? The sun\u2019s on the horizon now and I\u2019m an hour and a half downwind. Are you kidding me? I\u2019m broken. This should be for helicopters but we\u2019re too far offshore. What do I do? I can\u2019t do this.<\/p>\n As a wrestler, you could break my arm and I wouldn\u2019t quit, but this is too much. Just steering is a monumental task. It takes all my focus and energy. Mike had offered help and I had turned it down. How is that going to help? Two boats? More boats to crash into each other. I\u2019m suddenly overwhelmed with the consideration that I simply will not be able to find him. Here I am terrified of the pickup and I can\u2019t find him. I ask Mike to stick around. Two sets of eyes are better than one. I request a flare. I\u2019m hoping for something visual. Solid Air feels we\u2019re too far apart to see the flare and wants to wait. It makes sense, so we wait.<\/p>\n In Mike\u2019s effort to join the rescue, he loses his jib while dousing and wraps a jib sheet in his prop. I\u2019m already being pushed. Pushed beyond what I\u2019m able to handle and now I\u2019m thinking, is this going to turn into two rescues? Solid Air hails. He\u2019s using AIS to try to get a heading. He tells me I need to head 135 degrees. This makes no sense. This is not in the right direction. It\u2019s a least 100 degrees off. Where is he? I\u2019m just sick, getting my ass kicked heading upwind, the sun\u2019s down and I still don\u2019t know where he is.<\/p>\n While Mike is trying to recover, Solid Air fires a flare. I see it. Thank God , I see it. What a beautiful thing. A SOLAS rocket flare hanging in the sky. I look at the compass. It\u2019s about 180 degrees. I realize that I need to turn on the compass light for the next flare. It\u2019s too dark to read it. When I leave the helm, the boat falls off and is slammed by a wave. More crap flying around the cabin.<\/p>\n I\u2019m cold, soaked and struggle to climb the companion way to get the boat back up wind. Another flare. This one is closer and now at 220 degrees. I request he put all lights on so he\u2019d be easier to see. As I approach, I finally get visual contact. I need to get near enough to evaluate this carefully. This could be really bad if we collide.<\/p>\n I come around and approach from upwind. I didn\u2019t want him getting blown down on me and foul our rigs. I\u2019m really close, 200 feet. Each wave is a pitch poling nightmare. All of a sudden he\u2019s gone. He was just right in front of me and now he\u2019s gone. Lost in the dark.<\/p>\n I climb out of the cockpick to try and see him. Having left the helm, Halcyon is veering out of control again. I\u2019m about to hit him. He\u2019s right here somewhere and I can\u2019t see him. The seas are huge and Halcyon will crush him if we collide. I know I\u2019m only seconds from impact. I can\u2019t see him. Maybe he turned down wind and his lights are faced away. I finally see him and climb back to the helm. With all my might, I\u2019m straining to keep him in sight. I can\u2019t lose him now.<\/p>\n I later learned from Jan that he had put the boat away, turned off the lights and secured the cabin at my approach.<\/p>\n Solid Air is leaning funny. Her stern to the wind. And she\u2019s lurching strangely. Halcyon is wanting to surf each wave. It\u2019s just too much. Docking a 27 ton boat, healing 35 degrees while surfing at 10 knots. This is just insane.<\/p>\n I had decided earlier to use the sling on a spin sheet. I wanted the heavier line for winching and more mass to throw. The line that comes with the sling floats and the spin sheet does not. I\u2019m risking a prop wrap if I miss and that just CAN NOT happen. The line is now carefully coiled, short and sitting on the stern quarter. It\u2019s time.<\/p>\n I head to Solid Air. Halcyon is charging at her stern quarter. At about 40 feet from collision, I turn the helm to port. I know she would fall off like a breach and as she does, I run for the sling. I\u2019m now about 20 feet away from him but heading away. I throw the sling and it hits him in the chest. I scurry back to the helm to back down on the auxiliary and ditch as much speed as I can. Halcyon\u2019s breaching.<\/p>\n Jan, skipper of Solid Air has his arm through the sling. I run the line to the winch and with a power drill begin hauling. Halcyon\u2019s momentum launches him from his stern and he\u2019s skipping across the water.<\/p>\n I got him.<\/p>\n Thank God I got him.<\/p>\n I knew this had to fly first shot. A second try would be in total darkness; he would be impossible to find. As he approaches the rail, the battery quits. I try to lift him but it is not going to happen. I go to the winch and start to crank by hand. It\u2019s taking too long. He is being slammed under the Halcyon\u2019s hull with each wave. We can hear each other. He is being battered under the hull but is okay.<\/p>\n I suddenly think of the boarding ladder. I quickly dig it out and put it on the rail. It is still too high. I continue to winch. Just a little higher. He is finally able to reach it. I lean over and together with a last effort, he is aboard.<\/p>\n Halcyon is still bare poled and out of control. I raise the storm jib and put out some mainsail. With Halcyon\u2019s helm balanced, I can lock the wheel and get us under control. I am back under way but hardly a racing clip. I have no idea what had just happened. I am wet and miserable. Jan calls the race committee to update them while I shower. How nuts. Still in a storm, just completed a rescue and I want to be showered and dry. Needing to wash off this trauma.<\/p>\n Jan showers next. I give him dry clothes. We eat paella I had made the day before. I put him to bed and turn Halcyon back towards Bermuda. Pulling an email from the Sat phone, I discover that Aggressive, the leading boat, is in front of me. I want to race but I\u2019m struggling. I\u2019m struggling to find the drive, the courage to sail aggressively. I have smaller sails up.<\/p>\n Balancing the helm with bigger sail area and autopilot issues is too much; not now. I\u2019m still freaked out and feeling timid. Before the rescue, Halcyon was cranking along at 9.5 knots in what was approaching gale conditions. We were now comfortable and going 6.5 so I set my alarms and sleep.<\/p>\n Waking, I find that Bent is in front of me and beatable. Jan explains to me that I would be given back the lost time from rescue. So once again, it\u2019s \u201cgo\u201d time. I tell Halcyon \u201cBent\u2019s in front of you\u201d. Like an excited puppy, she lights up as we start chasing him down. I pop the Genoa, unfurl the main and she is powered up again. At 9.5 knots she is quickly closing the gap. I know the dream of winning first in class is not likely. I just want to cross the line ahead of Bent. I need to find the racer in me, something stronger than the broken rescuer.<\/p>\n It looks like I\u2019m going to roll Bent again. The winds are blowing 28 and Halcyon\u2019s loving it but there\u2019s a problem. Without a pilot I can\u2019t come off the wind. I need another 30 degrees to avoid hitting the reefs. It\u2019s still too far to hand steer. I\u2019m catching up quickly but I\u2019m going the wrong way. If I reef, I may be able to come off wind and get my heading but I\u2019ll lose boat speed. With only a few miles to go I reef. Halcyon loses speed, and I know it\u2019s done. With a few tacks the race is over. My battle with Bent is done and it\u2019s time to just stop.<\/p>\n Arriving in Customs, I am greeted by Jan\u2019s wife. She is crying, hysterical. Barely able to make words, crying \u201cthank you,\u201d calling me a hero. \u201cThank you for saving my husband.\u201d<\/p>\n I don\u2019t even understand. I am so blown away by her. This moment is a powerful shift. It cracks open my emotions. This was more than picking up another racer. In the harbor, alone again, anchor finally down, I lie on the fore deck and just lose it. Just cry and cry.<\/p>\n Everything had gone fine, and I\u2019m just emotionally destroyed. The guy just needed assistance. Right! What is assistance 500 miles offshore? It\u2019s not bringing a guy a fan belt. It\u2019s one scary thing that leaves you depleted, damaged and grateful to have pushed through when you thought you could not.<\/p>\n
\n<\/a>
\nThen the call comes. Halcyon being hailed. Someone\u2019s requesting assistance. He\u2019s got an accent. I think it\u2019s Kontradiction. Are you kidding me? This is my time, and the race I\u2019ve been hoping for. I\u2019m sick for getting beat in light winds. I\u2019ve got no dependable auto pilot but it\u2019s working and I have to stop? I\u2019m pretty sure I\u2019m the only boat in my class doing 9+ knots in this crap.<\/p>\n