After the last 500+ posts I have somehow convinced myself that my blog is pretty entertaining. Well, it is entertaining for me to write and my mom likes it. But then, even though I am “vertically challenged” she says that I am big. Anyway, doting mother set aside, I have been pretty sure that my posts are more interesting than most, at least. This is what I imagine I look like with a halo and all. Mom agrees.I can say with confidence that some of my posts are more interesting than those who just put down a lot of waypoints that prove that they were somewhere and write something about what speed and compass course they were traveling.
However, today that warm feeling of superiority was all but shattered when I was reading FaceBook and stumbled on the blog of Cygnus III, written by a couple, well perhaps by the guy, or bloke as a true Brit, which he is, might call himself. Now, with my blogging self image shattered, I feel more like I am marooned on a desert island with all hope lost. “Bob, give us a break. Stop it… NOW!” OK, OK, yes, perhaps I’ll live and muddle through another day. However, it’s apparent that the site of the travels of Mark and Angelina, a couple that live aboard their Oyster 45 sailboat Cygnus III. are setting the bar a bit higher for me and my lowly site.
They mostly dispense with the we-went-there sort of coverage and dig down to the “marrow” of what it’s like to live aboard and cruise, and they do it with flare.
In their own words, I give you…
So what’s this Cygnus III website all about?
Well, in 2010 we decided to sell our Dyson hoover and the house we kept it in to buy a sailing yacht called Cygnus III to live aboard.
We wanted to go sailing into a striking sunset, visit paradise and get free coconuts.
It was all pretty simple really. If we got lost along the way we could just pull in somewhere and ask directions.
What no one told us was how bleeding scary the sea is! There’s, like, rocks and storms and shit!
So these are the tales of our hapless voyage on our sailing yacht Cygnus III and the places and predicaments we have found ourselves in.
Well put, and as I read excerpts from their site aloud to Brenda, we found ourselves chuckling and sometimes laughing out loud at their observations about what it’s like to spend months together on a small boat and to live to tell the tale.
Often, when we are talking to fellow cruisers about what it’s like to live aboard, there seem to be a few basic truths about the questions we all get from those who have never left the dock or, ye gads, slept aboard OVERNIGHT.
Here’s what the Cygnus crews have to say that and more…
How will you know when you truly become a live aboard?
If your living on a boat these descriptions may ring your ships bell?
- When staying in a house you always come down stairs backwards
- You find yourself bleeding from random places at random times.
- You and your wife define “taking a break” as moving about six feet apart and looking in opposite directions.
- You avoid telling people you live on a boat just so you don’t have to explain to them you actually sleep on it as well… again.
- You think butter only comes in soft or liquid form.
- You only have 3 cooking pots.
- When invited to dinner at someone’s house you spend all night turning unnecessary lights off.
- When invited to dinner at someone’s house you ask if you can do your laundry.
- The doctor assumes your body covered in random bruises is a sign of physical abuse.
- You are the only one who doesn’t want to win the big screen TV at the charity raffle.
- You think “Game of thrones” is something you do when two people need the toilet at once.
- Kids think you’re the coolest person on earth. Adults think you have lost your marbles.
- When you don’t like the neighbourhood you just move.
- You are content knowing that sailing is code for boat repair in exotic places.
- You can assemble a gourmet dinner using only one pot and mouldy cheese.
- Doing laundry involves a net bag, a moving boat, and 50 feet of line.
- When asked for a piece of paper, you ask if they want course or fine.
- You don’t want anything for Christmas that isn’t on a Kindle.
- Cardboard boxes, wrappers, and packing are thrown away before getting onto the boat.
- You define a good anchorage as one where you can get Wi-Fi.
- Your wallet contains more boat cards than business cards
- You know what a boat card is.
- When visiting ashore, you wake everybody at daylight screaming “We’re aground “when you open your eyes and don’t see water.
- You define an easy chore as one where you don’t have to pull everything out of the locker first.
- You covet new solar panels more than a new car.
- You can identify boats by the sound of their halyard slapping against their mast.
- Removing things from the refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
- In shoe shops you go straight to the flip-flops.
- You accidentally put your life jacket on when you get in a car.
- You walk in the rain all the way back to your boat, carrying a backpack, a load of laundry, groceries destined to fall out of their bag at any second… all while thinking how lucky you are.
- Filling the water tanks is a full day’s work.
- The only thing you do religiously on Sundays is wonder what day it is.
- The first thing you do after setting the anchor is to see what other boats you know.
- You talk to your boat and give parts of it stupid names.
- You understand and pay attention to the entire weather forecast.
- You spend weekends sitting in your cockpit with a boat hook beside you, waiting to fend off the next holiday charter boat.
- Every time you consider buying something you have to decide what you’ll get rid of to make room for it.
- When visiting ashore you look for instructions on how to use a push button toilet.
- A three minute hot shower is pure indulgence.
- You covet your neighbour’s engine more than his wife.
- Ice cubes are the ultimate luxury.
- You have to strap a bag full of water to your boom & wait a few hours before you can take a hot shower.
- You’ve googled to see if there are any companies that make triangular bed sheets.
- You know that duct tape was invented by God.
- You only bring out real cups for fancy occasions.
- Trying to find a partner to sail away with you isn’t being romantic, it’s kidnapping.
- Your computer homepage is the Weather Service
- You’ve spent mornings standing naked on the deck of someone else’s boat, adjusting halyards, lashing lines & freezing your ass off.
- You have given up trying to defend your lifestyle and are content with smugly thinking…..they don’t know just what they are missing.
- Having sex always rocks your boat.
You can read the entire post here.
So, there you have it. Whatever SailPandora is lacking, I can’t be accused of trying to hide those who do the “blogging thing” well. You go Cygnus… Thanks for making us laugh.